Peace be with you

"When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said 'Peace be with you.'" John 20:19.

For most of my life, peace has eluded me.  Know, of course, that I am not alone.  Because of the fall, our default condition is not peace but chaos.  Within us rages a constant swirl of confusion and dis-ease which we spend our energies and time trying to cover, ignore, and mask.  There are more ways to turn our faces away from the reality of the chaos within us than there are people on this planet.  I know because I have several ways unique to me.  Think about it.  If you weren't reading this, watching TV, eating every few hours, being sociable, staying busy, checking facebook, and occupying your time sleeping, what would you be doing?  You'd be going crazy.  I met a man several weeks ago who told me that he was on the verge of handing himself over to satan.  He was in a state of absolute turmoil and confusion.  Nothing he said made sense.  I asked him where he was living.  "I've been living in my van alone for the last 2 months".  No wonder he was going crazy!  He was left alone with the chaos that rages within each of us for 2 months! This wasn't a retreat he was on or a journey of self-actualization, he was running from his chaos right into the thick of it.  Indeed, if any of us peel back the layers of stimulation, productivity, self-medication, and mind numbing activity that we have been trained to pursue, we will find a deadly storm within.  This inner-chaos becomes evident to us when these layers deteriorate or we are shaken enough in our lives to allow the deep rumblings to find a crack and reveal themselves.  Usually, when we sense this unrest we find a way to cover our discomfort with new layers, only heaping more band-aids on a gaping wound that won't stop bleeding.  That is where Jesus comes in.  "Peace be with you".  Can you hear his voice speaking that to your unrest, your chaos, pain, and confusion? "Shalom Aleichem".  That's more of what it sounded like when Jesus said this common Hebrew term.  It's super loaded language (like most hebrew), but I like to think of it as, "Posses completeness.  Lack nothing of your inner longings.  Peace" I need Jesus to say those words to me.  Like a scared disciple locked in a room of limited existence I need him to face me and speak those words to my chaos.  "Peace be with you."  Medications with brutal side effects that treat the symptoms of a disease are a waste of time and money when the cure is standing right in front of you. 

"Oh Lord, I have covered my need for you with countless layers of thin lies so I can make it through the day believing I have peace.  I'd rather really have peace than to keep appearing like I do.  Give me the strength to peer within myself and be honest about my dis-ease.  Speak your word of "Shalom" to me now.....I receive it by your grace...Amen"