Journey toward Wholeness

There are things about me that I sometimes wish would just magically be changed.  Vices, struggles, characteristics of my fallen state that I would rather not have to deal with.  There are powers that rage within me that reek havoc for myself and the people I care about.  Why was I made this way?  Why can't I pray my way out of this difficult condition of the body, mind, or soul?  I even become frustrated and angry with God that I'm not "fixed" when I ask to be.  Shouldn't God be just as interested in delivering me from human weakness as I am?  But I'm finding that the Lord doesn't always heal and transform me according to my specifications and timetable.  My creator's idea of making me whole might even be more advanced and informed than mine!  He knows my inner-workings, my intricate design, my inside and out.  Sometimes this means that I need to expand my expectations of what God's healing might mean for me.  It might not include an instant and drastic miracle with satisfying before and after photos.  It may not even look like a steady improvement between what I was and what I will be.  God's ministry to me may hurt, it may require deeper faith, it may demand a higher level of humility, discipline, or inter-dependence with others.  God may not give me easy solutions to a complex issues because my journey to wholeness may bear more fruit over the long haul than in the short term.  And while I believe that we will be made whole in the blinking of an eye at Christ's triumphant return, perhaps it is more important in this life to follow in faith the wisdom of an eternally Great Physician than to be set on experiencing the perfect health we're so intent on achieving.

Lean On Me

"Bear one another's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ" Gal. 6:2

In the church, we like to appear as if we have it together.  I've never seen a place where it's more important to people to APPEAR perfect.  The reasoning ends up something like this - If Christians have come into contact with the God who desires us to be whole and who is capable of anything, then it only makes sense that we should be "put together" if we have put our faith in Him.  If we appear that we are not "put together", it would not only reflect our failure in faith, but perhaps even God's failure to make us whole.  So even when we are broken, lacking, and mired in life's struggles, we choose to look like Jack and Jill the perfect church-going saints of the neighborhood.
This flawed approach to our self-presentation within the church is not only dishonest, it stops short the power of grace in our lives.  The scriptures are clear:  we are sinners, weak and poor, in need of a strong and righteous God who comes to us in Jesus Christ.  This fundamental identity as needy and dependent people who are redeemed by the Savior is the basis for being members in the church of God.  The point at which our neediness for and dependency on God becomes masked by a masquerade of normalcy is the point at which we remove ourselves from the penetrating reach of transformative grace.  But when we come in the raw - placing our insufficiencies, insecurities, and indiscretions before others who bear the same - we leave room for divine love to redeem and save.  To bear one another's burdens suggests that we all have burdens and that the purpose of the church is to have a place - not to hide or deny them - but to share them.  This can only be done in the context of a community of trust, respect, and mutual knowledge of the endless affection of an eternal God.  But when it is done, when we lean on the Spirit of Christ in one another, we experience a release from the bondage of having to maintain a false sense of achievement and an invitation to the freedom of boasting in nothing but Christ crucified.  Not only that, but we become an image of the invisible God to a world where masks are more naturally displayed than the truth of our faces.

Please swallow your pride
If you have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won't let show

Power Made Perfect

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Could it be that God can use my weakness more effectively than my strength?  That it is actually through the exercising of my weaknesses that I develop a true dependence upon the ability of the God rather than the ability of myself?  That what God asks of me is not to be good at anything but relying completely on Him?

Recently, I've felt a strong calling to work on things in life and ministry that I am simply not good at doing.  I sense a divine urging to pursue ends that require gifts and strengths that I lack.  I am not good at following an effort through from beginning to end.  I'm not good at building personal relationships past the surface using my own initiative.  God is calling me to follow some things through and to build some relationships beyond the surface.  The thing is, if I were to answer that call and follow that urging, I would either need to be given gifts that I do not currently posses, or watch God accomplish what I cannot naturally accomplish myself.  I am uncomfortable with this.  I enjoy doing things I'm good at that come to me without much effort.  What I would rather do is play off of my strengths: work to make the environment ripe for me to accomplish things out of my power rather than my weakness.  I don't want to deal with the frustration, impatience, and discipline that come with doing things I'm not particularly good at.  

Spiritually, this line of reasoning translates that I would rather be dependent upon myself than upon God.  Whether I do something because it's easy for me to do or because I'm forcing myself to do it, I'm not depending on God.  The only way I can move into obedience is to enter the trenches of faith and have the active trust to rely on God with every step.  If I'm called to follow through on some tasks or relationships better, the key is not pressing my will into action - it's meeting the Spirit of empowerment in a way that will allow God's power to be made perfect in my weakness.  This looks like prayer.  It looks like partnering with people who stretch and teach me to rely on God.  It means being willing to humble myself and wait for God to work according to God's own prerogative.   

One Simple Aim

Life becomes much more manageable for me when I simplify my priorities.  Over the past few months, I have been finding my way toward one simple aim (really two in one):  To please Him and to find pleasure in Him.  To simplify all of my efforts and pursuits to this is to truly walk a way of peace.  Two of the most basic human motives  are to find pleasure and to please others.  But when I try to please myself with anything that is not eternal, I am disappointed.  When I seek after those things which have the power to destroy life or those things that cannot continually sustain life, I eventually find myself needing repair or wanting more.  It isn't fair to me or to the things (or people) I seek to expect from them something that only God can provide.  The same can be said for that desire to please others.  Surely, I can make people feel good or satisfied on some ultimately superficial level, but I can never give them that which will quench their deepest human thirsts.  The kinds of troubles that result from seeking satisfaction from and for anything but God are manifold.  In short, they will always leave us hallow, wanting, and frustrated.  But when we become single minded in our goal to find pleasure in the reality of our Creator, and when we endeavor to please our maker in every effort, we begin to taste the fruit that was made to satisfy.  To be pleased by God is to find His mercies in all things, but to never forget that they originate in Him.  The beauty of my wife and child are His beauty.  The fill of a feast at mealtime come from His grace and creativity.  The belly laugh among friends comes from His creation in us alone.  We can find all of our pleasure in God.  Likewise we can please Him in all things.  When we serve our neighbor we do it to serve the one God.  When we order and maintain our lives in the most mundane activities, we do so for the love of Christ.  By the very living of life, we choose to honor the giver of every good gift.  There truly is wholeness in simplicity.  To find our pleasure in the Lord and to please Him with every step, is to know the fullness of life.  Indeed, heaven itself will consist of nothing less than finding our ultimate satisfaction in God and giving ourselves back in return.
 

God Is Jealous For You

"I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God" Exodus 20:5

Jealousy is perhaps the most intimate of emotions.  One cannot be jealous for something or someone they do not feel personally belongs to them in some way.  For God to say that He is Jealous for you implies that He feels that you belong to Him.  This belonging is personal.  Jealousy is not something we can theologize or turn into doctrine, it is a raw feeling of zeal and pursuit between the lover and the beloved.  Don't forget the connotation that jealousy has in our minds today.  There is no doubt that it is as corruptible as anger or desire.  But in almost every case I can think of where jealousy is bad, it has begun to overrun the reality of a situation.  Like when a man or woman becomes so possessive of another person that they become blinded to the truth of their love.  But what if, in a relationship of deep love and commitment, true infidelity were a chronic and frequent behavior?  What if the lover watched with their own eyes the beloved turn to rival lovers time and time again.  Wouldn't jealousy be the only natural response to such blatant disregard for a promise of love and faithfulness?  This, I believe is where God's comment about His own character is immortally burned on the world famous 10 commandments in Exodus chapter 20.  God is jealous because he holds out the hope and expectation that vows are to be kept.  Like when someone says in prayer "Oh God, thank you for saving me, I give my whole life to you.  You are my Lord"  and then turns around and allows ANYTHING else to dictate their behavior and attitudes.  God should be jealous!  God's love, affection, and personal desire for us would be either shallow or cold if he were not jealous when we found our hope, life, and salvation in things other than himself.  I, for one, often make the mistake of assuming such a ridiculous possibility about our God: That God's love for me is like the love an assembly line worker has for yet another product rather than the love a lover has for the beloved.  The truth is this: God is so personally attached to me being in an ongoing, faithful relationship with Him that when I disregard that relationship or make it play second fiddle to anything else, He becomes fiercely jealous.  God is jealous for you.  Are you taking your relationship with Him seriously enough?

 

Lets Be Real

Some of the most amazing moments of musical worship that I have ever experienced take place while I'm driving in my car.  I can sing with abandon, tears streaming down my cheeks as I reflect upon the abiding goodness of God.  But almost without fail, when another vehicle approaches my drivers side window, I quickly gather myself and act as if I'm not having a powerfully authentic meeting with the maker of the universe in my vehicle.  Apparently, it is more important for me to appear "normal" to strangers than to exhibit any real vulnerability and uniqueness.  This is just one of countless examples of how my social inhibitions relegate the Spirit of Christ that is within me.  Another example occurs in my daily interactions with acquaintances and casual friends.  I have often longed to share with someone, anyone, what is going on within my soul during times of intense inner-stirrings only to respond to the question "how are you?" with "fine...small talk, small talk, small talk".  Its gotten to the point that I'm sick of trying to whitewash my raw humanity.  I realize that I am not the only one who lives my life with such bland, surface dwelling interactions with the world outside my closest friends and relatives.  This is how I was trained to act around people.  But what if the Christian's most ripe opportunities to proclaim the Good News with their lives came at these moments?  What if by our attempts to appear radically un-extraordinary, we were denying others insight into our human struggles and revelations that often unveil the incarnate presence of God?  I would invite you to try with me the bold exercise of being who you truly are.  Not to annoy or inconvenience others but to stand out as a witness to them of your need for, and insights about deeper realities.  For the truth is that God is moving in the hearts and lives of His people far more powerfully than most of us have the guts to reveal to the world.  Perhaps the very way you or someone else will experience hope, humanity, grace, or mercy is by watching you be courageously real.  Give it a shot and pay attention to what happens. 

Downsizing the Church

If the mainstream church in the United States is going to actually thrive in the next generation it will need to drastically downsize.  Most of the Christians that I know want the church to grow.  They are willing to reach new people and try new ministries.  They may even be willing to spend more energy, time, and money to experience the gospel among new people.  What I haven't seen a readiness to downsize their church experience.  There is a blind expectation that we (the institutionalized mainline church) can both reach the "unchurched" AND remain who we are: A cruise ship designed to provide the very best religious and social experience possible: A great staff that runs great programs and professional quality worship on a great campus.  If the mainstream (middle class) church actually reaches people unlike them, there will be no sustainable way to maintain that kind of lifestyle.  Granted, some churches will be called by God to reach out to other persons who have similar tastes and abilities to finance such an experience.  But most of us, if we're honest with ourselves, will hear the commission to go to "all people" which will include not only those who are unable to afford capital campaigns but also those who are socially intimidated by walking into a building nicer than the nicest homes in their town.
 Let me take the example of how my denomination likes to start new churches.  We like to spend a few hundred thousand dollars up front to help a church pay a few staff members, rent a space to worship, and provide programs/supplies for its ministries.  Over five years the hope is that the church will develop a giving base that can sustain the purchase of a property, the building of a church, and the expansion of a staff.  The goal is to make more churches that look like the ones we all want to become: coffee bars, digital signs, and beautiful spaces for worship and classes.  Most of the time it just ain't gonna happen.  Can we learn to downsize our church experience and be okay with just God and our sisters and brothers in Christ?  Would you still go to church if there were no organ, rockin praise band, or air conditioned rooms with padded seats?  Could you be a part of a growing church that didn't have a huge VBS set and ski trips for the youth?  The future of your church may depend on your answer.